No. 29 – How to Juice Vegetables on the Road

We homeschool our kids, and as a part of the educational plan we have, we’re attempting to take our kids on adventures every few years to a different part of the continent (and/or planet?). We drove down the east coast this last Spring and saw all the historical stuff, NY, DC, Boston, all the way down to New Orleans. It was a crazy trip. And we knew that we would have crazy issues with our bowels if we ate restaurant food for weeks on end (not to mention the massive expense). So after many heated ‘strategy’ meetings between my wife and I, we finally settled on a regimen that would, we hoped, keep us healthy and economical no matter where we were.

Breakfast – Local Groceries / Free Hotel Breakfast (depended on the day)

Snack – On the go (more local groceries)

Lupper – Eat out once during the day (Lunch & Supper combined into one 4:00 PM meal)

Evening – Protein Shake & Vegetable Juice / Small Home-cooked Meal

Now let me say this: I’m not sure it’s totally legal to cook with electric cookware in hotel bathrooms, but then I’m not sure it’s illegal either, and I’d just as soon not know. In addition to cooking, we also attempted to juice every other day in order to keep ourselves from getting sick, scurvy in particular. And in order to avoid getting caught at this aspect of our travels, we had to invest in a new juicer. Our then current model was more standard in that it obliterated the veggies as you pressed them into the gaping hole at the top.

PLUS – It was very fast.

NOT SO PLUS – It sounded like your were murdering rabbits in your hotel room.

Hence we had to get a quieter model, and this was just the excuse my wife had been looking for to upgrade. We couldn’t get it delivered in time for our trip, so we had it sent ahead to some family that we were staying with on the way. This was a ‘slow-masticating’ juicer.

PLUS – About as loud as an old man eating a sandwich.

NOT SO PLUS – About as fast as an old man eating a sandwich.

But at least it wouldn’t get us kicked out of any hotels, and apparently it’s much healthier. The loud kind heats your juice killing enzymes in the process, and gets a lot less juice out of your expensive veggies.

“So this is actually SAVING us money!” (says my wife trying to convince me).

But actually it turns out I’m a huge fan of this new juicer. Normally, cleaning the juicer is where the whole juicing culture breaks down. People buy these things, joyfully pulverize a bunch of veggies and fruit, drink the bounty, and then stare at their filthy juicer.

DAY ONE, MORNING – (after drinking their first juice) “I’ll clean it later” they say to themselves, “I’m late for work anyway.”

DAY ONE, EVENING – “I’m really tired, I’ll clean it in the morning.”

DAY TWO, MORNING – “I’m just going to juice every-other day”

DAY TWO, EVENING – “It’s all caked in here and dried, it needs to soak overnight.”


By the weekend they’re listing it on Craigslist as “Only used once!”

Yeah, so the easy-cleaning on our new juicer is awesome, takes just two minutes and actually kind of makes you feel accomplished.  WANT ONE????  Of course you do (click here to see it on Amazon).

Actual picture of us juicing in a hotel bathroom:

Crunchy Dungeon Cover - juicing in bathroom



We called the number and asked if we could come look at a cow to purchase. Also, we mentioned that we were already nearby and wanted to know if we could come right then. Because we were already right there, like at the end of their long creepy driveway, and wanted to know if it was ‘safe’ to drive into the woods…